How to Own Your Voice
Many of us are often not accessing or using our voice as powerfully as we could. In order to step into more of our power, we have to start by investigating what’s blocking us in the first place.
We all tell ourselves stories about so many things every day and many of them are not true. What are the stories we’re telling ourselves about our voice?
These stories are based in the past, future, or both.
Past: Examples of stories from the past are
A memory of someone or society telling you that your voice didn’t matter or shouldn’t be heard
A memory of a bad experience using your voice where things didn’t go as well as you hoped
Future: Examples of stories projecting into the future
Thinking about what is going to happen when you’re done: e.g people are not going to like it, people are going to think you’re dumb, thinking it needs to be perfect
The key to accessing the most powerful version of our voice and self is to identify these stories and then slowly start to relinquish the power we are giving them. Take some time to reflect and write down your stories.
Here is an example of a story that I used to tell myself: “No one wants to hear me unless I’m perfect and I will only be accepted if I’m perfect.”
I felt extra pressure to be perfect because I had internalized that I was less than for being an immigrant, gay, brown, and a woman.
Our long term goal is to let go of those stories, and that takes practices. In the short term, we want to start to find tools that help us in the moment that we’re struggling to use or own our voice in a particular situation.
One thing I suggest is to write affirmations or statements that help dispel the stories we tell ourselves.
I encourage you to write your own but here are my own examples in case they resonate with you:
I’m safe.
Nothing bad can happen to me here.
People want to listen to me.
If I stumble or make mistakes, I’m no less worthy
Other people don’t define my worth.
I’m worthy of love and acceptance for just existing
It’s ok to be uncomfortable
I’m comfortable in the uncomfortable.
Once you have your phrases, pick one that you can lean on when you find yourself in moments where you are having trouble with your voice.
Practical tips for getting more comfortable using your voice.
In addition to affirmations, here are a few tips that might help you if you ever find yourself struggling to step into your voice.
Identify grounding practices you can do before you have to use your voice
Meditation
Have a fictional conversation to get you comfortable
Build rapport with whoever you’re speaking with before
Dance
Boldly own everything you say like it’s a fact and do it from your first word. If you believe it, they’ll believe it.
Imagine you’re speaking to someone who you feel really comfortable with
Connect to your passion as you speak.
If you’re not comfortable, be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Simply accepting that you’re uncomfortable can help!
Get back to the present. Use your safety affirmations.
Find ways to get out of your comfort zone safely.
Lastly, remember that the message esta en tu corazon, not in your words. The more you can connect with your heart, the stronger your voice and your impact. We need you!
